Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Informal Letter - A visit to a pineapple canning factory

From: *** <***@hotmail.com>
To: "nuhazyun@yahoo.com" <nuhazyun@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 27, 2012 3:24 PM
Subject: A trip to Pineapple canning factory.

Hi teacher, during this peak season I will keep email you some essays for you to check and provide information about what should I do to improve my essay. Thanks!
292,Jalan XXX,
Subang Sentosa,
58393 Selangor Darul Ehsan.

29 September 2012.

Dear Edison,

                       How are you getting on? I hope that you are as fit as fiddle. My family and I are fine over here. I am writing this to tell you about my holiday activities. I went to a pineapple canning factory last holiday.

                       The visiting was organized by the Interact Club of my school. The objective of this trip was to broaden the mind of the members. There were approximately 40 members and 4 teachers joined the trip. We gathered at the school at 8.00 a.m. The teachers gave us some instructions. Then , we went to the factory by bus.

                       On the way to the factory , we were chatting with full of joyfulness. After an hour, we reached the pineapple plantation field. The workers were harvesting the pineapple in the plantation. They sealed the pineapples that they harveste into boxes. Then, they put them into a lorry.

                       After that, we followed the lorries that transport the pineapples. We arrived at the factory after 5 minutes. We got off the bus. The manager welcomed us cordially. Before entering the factory, the manager gave a briefing to us. Then, we entered the factory. We were titillated to see the process of canning pineapple.

                       We saw many workers were working. They peeled the pineapples carefully. Then, they washed the pineapples. After that, they used a knife to cut the pineapples into cubes . Last but not least, the pineapple cubes were canned into the cans. The workers were friendly. They gave us a refulgent smile. We also took many photographs too.

                       Moreover, the pineapples can be made into syrup too. The machine sweeten the pineapple with sugars. The manager served us some syrups. The syrups were splendiferous . Next, the cans were sealed by the machine. The factory workers were trying to label the cans. The workers packed the cans into boxes after finish labeling the cans. The products were going to be transported to the hypermarkets and shops.

                       Lastly, the manager gave us some free pineapple products. We thanked the manager. Before leaving the factory , we took photographs there. Then, we went home. It was the best trip that I never had before. The trip had broaden our mind. We had a whale of time.

                       As the saying goes, "Knowledge is power". Therefore, I hope that you can also join some trips too. I think I should pen off here. I have enclosed some photographs for you. I am looking forward to your reply too. Please send my regards to your family. Keep in touch. Bye.

Yours sincerely,
William

My reply:

Hi ***, excellent essay!

292,Jalan XXX,
Subang Sentosa,
58393 Selangor Darul Ehsan.

29 September 2012.

Dear Edison,

                       How are you getting on? I hope that you are as fit as a fiddle. My family and I are fine over here. I am writing this letter to tell you about my holiday activities. I went to a pineapple canning factory last holiday.

                       The visiting visit was organized by the Interact Club of my school. The objective of this trip was to broaden the mind of the members. There were approximately 40 members and 4 teachers joined joining the trip. We gathered at the school at 8.00 a.m. The teachers gave us some instructions. Then, we went to the factory by bus.

                       On the way to the factory, we were chatting chatted with full of joyfulness. After an hour, we reached the pineapple plantation field. The workers were harvesting the pineapple in the plantation. They sealed the pineapples that they harvested into boxes. Then, they put them into a lorry.

                       After that, we followed the lorries that transport transported the pineapples. We arrived at the factory after 5 minutes. We got off the bus. The manager welcomed us cordially. Before entering the factory, the manager gave a briefing to us. Then, we entered the factory. We were titillated to see the process of canning pineapple.

                       We saw many workers were working. They peeled the pineapples carefully. Then, they washed the pineapples. After that, they used a knife to cut the pineapples into cubes. Last but not least, the pineapple cubes were canned into the cans. The workers were friendly. They gave us a refulgent (refulgent is related to light) convivial smile. We also took many photographs too.

                       Moreover, the pineapples can be made into syrup too. The A machine sweeten the pineapple with sugars. The manager served us some syrups (juice?). The syrups were splendiferous. Next, the cans were sealed by the another machine. The factory workers were trying to label labelled the cans. The workers packed the cans into boxes after finish labeling labelling the cans. The products were going to be transported to the hypermarkets and shops.

                       Lastly, the manager gave us some free pineapple products. We thanked the manager. Before leaving the factory, we took photographs there. Then, we went home. It was the best trip that I never  ever had before. The trip had broaden broadened our mind. We had a whale of a time.

                       As the saying goes, "Knowledge is power". Therefore, I hope that you can also join some trips too. I think I should pen off here. I have enclosed some photographs for you. I am looking forward to your reply too. Please send my regards to your family. Keep in touch. Bye. 
Yours sincerely,
William

[Marks: B- 20]

Interesting words / expressions:
  • as fit as a fiddle
  • broaden
  • full of joyfulness
  • cordially
  • titillated
  • splendiferous
  • a whale of a time.
  • Knowledge is power
  • pen off    
Workers harvesting pineapples.

Fresh pineapples being cleaned and boxed for export.

A worker at the Lee Pineapple factory in Skudai, Johor Baru, canning pineapples.

Picture sourcehttp://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/6/24/southneast/14630045&sec=+southneast

8 comments :

9KDemon said...

Nice

Aikachan said...

Assalamualaikum, Teacher Nuha.
Why in the fifth paragraph, it is
We saw many workers working.

instead of

We saw many workers were working.

Please explain this. :)

Julia Robert said...

Thanks for sharing this nice post. Before writing letter to any one, you should understand the format of Formal and Informal Letters in English.

Teacher Nuha said...

Dear 9KDemon, thanks.

Teacher Nuha said...

Waalaikumussalam Aikachan,

Thanks for asking the question.

"We saw many workers were working." is not grammatically correct. The word "were" should be omitted.

The correct sentence is:
We saw many workers working.

However, the following sentence is correct:
We saw many workers. The workers were working.

Other examples:
I saw him studying. (correct)
I saw him was studying. (wrong)

or --> I saw him. He was studying. (correct)

The verbs "working" and "studying" in the above examples are in the present participle form.

You can get more information from:
http://www.edufind.com/english/grammar/present_participle.php

I hope my explanation helps.

Amirah Hamizah said...

assalamualaikum..ckgu Nuha.
ckgu blh tlg sye x..?
blh x ckgu buat informal letter-about my ambition..?
please ckgu..tlg buatkn utk sye ye...thanks Teacher Nuha... :)

Anonymous said...

It's really helpful for me to do revision. Thank you teacher.

Teacher Nuha said...

You're welcome :)

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